How did you get all those women to live with you?! I could never...View Full Monologue Text
How did you get all those women to live with you?! I could never get anybody to do that. I can't think why anybody would want to be with me so much that they would... compete. I'm dull and pointless. I know I am. I look outside and I don't see any great beauty or tragedy or... I don't think of anything. It's funny, I see a bird in the sky, a hawk, I saw a hawk or something and I saw it swoop down and grab a mouse, just descend like a bird of prey and snatch a poor helpless mouse and all I thought was, "Hawks eat mice?" I said that to Sylvia like a goddamned fool, I said, "Hawks eat mice?" And she looked at me and said, "Do they still? I thought they had stopped." And that's when I realized that its contagious! I'm contagious! And I got angry cause all the books I read even though I hated them, and all the classes I hated, all the education I paid for and the fellowships and mentorships and the church just made me sicker and sicker to where I couldn't even imagine a hawk killing and eating a mouse anymore. So I yelled at Sylvia. I told her she has wasted her life. And I said it?s good that we haven't had children because she would waste theirs too. And then I skidded off the road into the median. I had to call roadside assistance. And as we were waiting that?s when she said that she wanted to visit you.
Brent explains to his wife's dying ex-lover, Res, the events that preceded her decision to come visit him.
So are you a really good shot? Are you one of them that could...View Full Monologue Text
So are you a really good shot? Are you one of them that could shoot a mosquito off the nose of your mother or something? So, hypothetically speaking, if we did get into a duel you wouldn't have any real advantage over me. You're probably right. Why is that? Why do I know that you'd win? You?re no better than me with a gun but I can just tell that you'd win. It's cause you're tapped into the Earth, probably. You southern guys. Guys like me spend most of their time on about the 50th floor of some skyscraper so when we finally land and touch the ground it's kinda confusing. But up there I'd have the advantage. I could take you up there. Not that I'm planning anything. Just musing, you know, about my possibilities. Sometimes I think I should just stay up there on the 50th. Move in. You know, I've had a few office flings. Don't tell Sylvia. But it's true, I've pulled a few hat tricks up there. It's strange, but I'm more attractive up there on the 50th. They'll fall for me in front of the fax, in the conference room, by the water cooler but as soon as that elevator takes us down to the ground floor it's like all my, I don't know, power sinks with each floor we passed. See how I am now? Pathetic, whimpy. Well, I'm 50 times the man I am right now when I'm in my office. 50 times more attractive, assertive, successful, intelligent, and useful. But in that elevator, man, I feel it all leaving me. And by the time we hit the ground floor these women have pretty much lost all interest. And then there's that "ding". Like a microwave "ding" and I know that it's me that's done. And I can't wait to get through the weekend and get back in my office and back to work. I should have been an astronaut.
Brent explains to his wife's ex-lover that he feels like more of a man when he's in his office on the 50th floor.
He's stealing you. Against your will? Is it against your will? Not...View Full Monologue Text
He's stealing you. Against your will? Is it against your will? Not that this isn't shocking, it is. I'm shocked here. If you're trying to shake me in my boots then mission accomplished, consider me shaking. I know I'm not one for outward, I don't know, signs or whatever, but I just don't know what you trying to tell me here. What are you wanting me to do? Fight him? A duel? I'll do it if it would make any difference. But I'm afraid that, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm afraid that all you're doing is leaving. It's a funny thing about you, Sylvia. This feeling I always got that at any moment you might just disappear, fly away. And I'd have no idea why except that I somehow knew that about you. That you were another creature before? like a sea-bird, an albatross, and one day you'd realize that you prefer being an albatross and you'd just glide away. You see? Are we gliding?
Brent tells his wife that he always suspected she would leave him.
AuthorName: Leegrid Stevens
I thought you'd look different. More stylish. I don't see it, whatever attraction...View Full Monologue Text
I thought you'd look different. More stylish. I don't see it, whatever attraction there was with you. I thought maybe you were like the Marlboro Man. Snake skin boots. You know, one of those guys that dying only makes look more rugged. With the stubble and the grizzled wisdom. God, movies are something, aren't they? Cause I've only seen two real dying people in my life and I gotta say, both times now, dying just looks downright pathetic. To think that I drove over the speed limit to get here! Way over! I could have gotten a ticket. I haven't been issued a ticket in thirteen years. Needless to say, I get premium insurance rates with that record, but I didn't care. I had to see you, the man who just... well, I can see now that you're not that guy anymore are you? But for whatever reason, God only knows, she wants to see you. All this time she swore but now... suddenly. Anyway, whatever, cause you're done with your old ways, right? You've only got time now for reflection, making peace with your maker, right?
Brent is meeting his wife's dying ex-lover for the first time.
Age Range: 20s - Late, 30s - Early, 30s - Late, 40s - Early
Dialects: Standard American
PlayName: Leda's Swan
Rating: Contains adult content
Copyright Status: Copyrighted