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Wha?! No monologue?!

That's right folks. No monologue. This particular director decided to forego the formality of a "proper" audition package for an "alternative introduction" that could be sock puppets, singing, or mime (well, maybe not that but you get the picture). Why are you posting this? Doesn't it sort of go against the whole point of this site? Nope. This site is definitely centered around monologues but it is also dedicated to theatre experiences and audition preparation. This particular audition was the best experience I have ever had! I'm hoping to take the preparation and attitude I brought to this audition into auditions that require two contrasting monologues. I must overcome my unnatural fear of prepared speeches! Why do you think I started this site?

Introduce yourself in an alternative way...

I walked into a late night audition (9:30pm to 10:30pm) in San Rafael, CA . The director shook my hand in a very professional manner, apologized for the late hour and the delays, and proceeded to comment how she liked my last name: Waggle. That's right, Waggle. Justin L. Waggle at your service.

I handed her my headshot and resume and then I asked her whether or not she would like me to proceed with my "alternative introduction". She agreed that I should probably start with the introduction (makes sense in retrospect). I handed five index cards to the reader and asked her to read the questions I had written on them earlier in the day.

My headshot shows a clean-shaven Justin L. Waggle but I currently have a wild beard that I neglected to tame for the audition. I usually get all up tight about my appearance and lay out my clothes and shave hours in advance (if I have the time). But today, I put on some jeans and a collared shirt and headed out the door after clicking off The Incredibles (damn I love that movie) at the last minute. I felt like, if the director wanted me to introduce myself, I might as well come dressed comfortably... nice but comfortable.

What is a Waggle?

The director unknowingly walked into my trap by mentioning my last name. The reader began asking me questions off the series of index cards I had given her. The following is a recreation of what transpired. It's a loose transcription as most of what I said was improvised on the spot. I answered the questions with a straight face (as best I could) and tried to fully concentrate on these "new" questions. I felt like this whole thing was a pretty big gambit as this was a pretty influential casting director in the Bay Area but I sucked it up and prepared myself for some true jackassery.

Reader: Mr Waggle, that's an interesting last name. What is a Waggle?

Waggle: Please, call me Justin. The dictionary definition is short, swift movements of a dog's butt. The Waggle is also associated with the Waggle Dance performed by bees. Waggle is also known as a verb and I am quite clearly a noun. I'm breaking tradition. Next question, please.

Reader: Justin, after your initial rise to popularity, you vanished from sight. Where did you go?

Waggle: Well, the truth is... I've been supressing my talent to make everyone else feel better about themselves. No, I'm just kidding. Um... actually, I was in a job that was sucking my soul. I crawled and scraped my way out with at least half of it and now I'm trying to make things better back in the theatre.

Reader: Justin, how many times have you "gone up" on your lines?

Waggle: [insert long silence here]

Reader: Justin, how did you come to have such chisled abs?

Waggle: Great question! I'm glad you asked that one! Well, it's two scoops of ice-cream every night and a lot of determination. Next question, please.

Reader: I'm ready to cast you. Why would I choose NOT to cast you?

Waggle: I can give you that answer in one word: Safety. Basically, the problem comes when I go on stage. Women and some gay men have a tendency to faint when they see me up there. Also, it's great to have me for ticket sales and to see my name up in lights but the riots by the stage door are difficult. My bodyguards have to create a 4-foot barrier. The loss of life is staggering.

Reader: That's it.

Waggle: Well, thank you.

They laughed, thank God...

This material had high flop potential. I could easily have needed to yell, "Bail!", pulled my rip cord, and ran out the door but the gambit paid off. Everyone was having a good time and I was feeling a lot more relaxed with my warmed up audience. The play was a dramatic piece but I think the comedy I brought will be an awesome addition to some of the moments throughout. I hope they feel the same! I'll post an edit with the outcome once I know...

After the "alternative introduction" I set myself to doing some cold readings. These sides had been provided in advance and I think it made a huge difference. I had a chance to read it at home and speak it out loud in full voice without the concern of disturbing other auditioners. This experience gave me the feeling that I got the chance to use my acting skills rather than my stilted auditioning skills.

The pieces were in contrast to the intro I had provided so I felt like I had my "proper" audition package experience but I felt really comfortable and good about my work as I left the audition (for the first time in a loooooong time).

Okay, so what's the moral of the story?

Every good story must come to an end and good stories usually give you a message to take away with you. I came to this audition with a sense of playfulness and now I realize that that is what has been missing from my work thus far. I was having a good time and they were having a good time so the experience was worthwhile. I have treated my auditions like a penance, a price to be paid before being able to practice my craft, to make art! The truth is, an audition can be art too!

We (actors) get so bogged down with being "professional" and competative that we miss the whole point of the experience. Yes, we want the job. Yes, we are crapping our pants because we are so nervous. Yes, we are driven to succeed. I have recently come to the point where I am tired of being anxious and bitter so I choose to make auditions a place to make art. This goes against everything I have ever been taught. I have been told to accentuate my best skills, dress professionally, warm up properly, pick appropriate material, look them in the eyes and have a firm handshake, lift weights, lose weight, embrace my sex appeal, enunciate, be on time, don't go over time, pick a point in the distance and concentrate on it, project!, absorb the energy of the room, and on and on... This is all great advice and essential to a proper presentation but it all drives me crazy and makes me super self-aware!

I want to be in these shows because I love the work! I don't want to wear a a particular theater's name on my sleeve like a badge of honor. I want to work because it feeds me the fuel I need to live! So, the audition as an obstacle is a pretty crappy way to spend 90% of my time as an actor. Let's make art! Choose pieces that you love! Don't be afraid to practice them in front of your most judgemental friends (i.e. the mirror)! Help your audience have a good time. Make them feel something! That's what live theatre is all about! I plan to go into my next audition with pieces that I love to do and I plan to give the audition panel a treat. If they don't cast me, it's okay because I just finished another fantastic performance and I'm on to the next one.

Truthfully, I'm a terrible cynic. I want to believe this soooooo much! My inner-critic is constantly telling me that I'm a big nothing and that I'm not going to make it. Well, I'm willing to risk complete and total failure now and I think that will make all the difference. The work begins with me. I can work without the approval of some omniscient director. I'm starting today. I'm picking new material... Material I LOVE... and I'm going for it. I'm going to make art at my audition. Wish me luck.

Epilogue

Well, they never called me back but that's okay because I got another gig. I was just cast for a paying gig (this encounter was for a non-paying gig) during the same time so there's no way I could have done the role after all! I'm not disheartened in the least that they decided not to cast me. There are so many reasons why they could have decided to go with someone else. I know that my audition rocked! I'm confident that I left a favorable impression with the casting director and at the very least I know that she will remember the name Waggle!

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one word Posted on: 2006-08-17 01:33:31   By: James
brilliantastic.

No Subject Posted on: 2006-08-17 13:12:57   By: mweeden78
They better cast you, or I'll kill them.

No Subject Posted on: 2006-08-17 20:01:13   By: Michelle
What an amazing outlook...if I had read this a couple of years ago, I might still be willing to go into an audition room today. Very inspiring, Waggle....that's an interesting name: Waggle...

auditioning Posted on: 2006-09-07 15:56:48   By: Clare
auditions are NEVER easy. glad that you had a nice one!

supa star Posted on: 2006-09-08 15:00:41   By: daraskl	Edited By: daraskl On: 2006-09-08 15:02:18
hey JW, you rock. Also, just recall your a visionary philosopher always, and your story here is mighty impressive. Fight the man. keep the faith!

LOL Posted on: 2007-01-14 22:41:20   By: jabberwockie
That is awesome. I was rolling in my chair, laughing so hard. I wish I had a weird last name...